


Group chats of chaos

by Bigbimess



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anakin does not know that people can be gay, Blyla is established, Chatlogs, Codywan is straight up pinning, Crack, Dooku - Freeform, Except Palps, F/F, F/M, Gen, I had a plan then it kinda went to hell, Im just vibbin, M/M, Off screen minor character(s) death, Past Ahsoka Tano/Barriss Offee, Past Ahsoka Tano/Riyo Chuchi, Past Padmé Amidala/Sabé (Star Wars), Quinlan and Fox are dating but no one can confirm nor deny, and Mas Amedda, cause i dont like them, roastin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:20:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24665251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bigbimess/pseuds/Bigbimess
Summary: Reda may be a Jedi knight but sowing chaos isn't against the Jedi Code.
Relationships: CC-1010 | Fox & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-1010 | Fox/Quinlan Vos, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-5052 | Bly & CC-2224 | Cody & CC-1010 | Fox & CC-3636 | Wolffe, CC-5052 | Bly & CC-2224 | Cody & CC-6454 | Ponds & CT-7567 | Rex & CC-3636 | Wolffe, CC-5052 | Bly/Aayla Secura, CC-6454 | Ponds/Mace Windu, Original Clone Character(s) & Original Jedi Character(s), Padmé Amidala & Eirtaé & Rabé & Sabé & Saché & Yané & Original Female Character(s), Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Plo Koon & CC-3636 | Wolffe
Comments: 77
Kudos: 330
Collections: Fun/Humour/Crack in a Galaxy Far Far Away, Starwarschats





	1. Fuck that Regulation Shit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [writehandman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writehandman/gifts), [Forestgreengirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forestgreengirl/gifts), [FlyingFreeYT](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingFreeYT/gifts).
  * Inspired by [this is my hell](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24006040) by [FlyingFreeYT](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingFreeYT/pseuds/FlyingFreeYT). 
  * Inspired by [Command Clones Commentary](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23197759) by [Forestgreengirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forestgreengirl/pseuds/Forestgreengirl). 
  * Inspired by [Command Squad Chat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21475132) by [writehandman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writehandman/pseuds/writehandman). 



> So this was inspired by all of the chat fics between our favorite commanders, but I'm putting FlyingfreeYT's as the one that inspired this because I too am going to roast the commanders by an oc.

**[CC-2224** **_has added_ ** **CC-3636, CC-1010, CC-6454, CC-5052, CT-7567, CC-1068, ARC-7347** **_and_ ** **JEDI GENERAL REDA OILINU** ** _to the chat_ Commander Center Chat** **]**

 **[CC-2224** **_had changed his name to_ Cody]**

_Cody: Welcome to the chat._

_Cody: Ranks mean shit here._

_[_ **Cody** **_has named the chat_ ** ** Fuck that regulation shit] **

_JEDI GENERAL REDA OILINU: mood._

_[_ **JEDI GENERAL REDA OILINU _has changed her name to_ Reedé]**

_CC-3636: Why is your name Reedé_

**_[_ CC-3636 _has changed his name to_ Wolffe]**

_Reedé: That's my name when I pretend to be one of Padmé's handmaidens._

_Wolffe: Lit._

_CC-1068: Y'All are boring._

_[_ **CC-1068 _has changed Reedé's_ _name to_ Badass Lesbian]**

_Badass Lesbian: This is why you're my Commander._

_[_ **CC-1068 _has changed ARC-7347_ _name to_ Confused idiot]**

_Wolffe: Roger's taking shots._

_Wolffe: Also, why does the 755th get their arcs?_

_Confused idiot: Cause we know every way to kill you._

_CT-7567: I keep forgetting you have a battalion of medics scarer than Kix._

__[_ **CC-1068 _has changed_ Cody's _name to_**_ **Gay for General** _**]** _

_CC-5052: rjrjnsnf._

_CC-6454: Roger really came for Cody_

__[_ **CC-1068 _has changed_ CC-5052's _name to_**_ **Straight for General** _**]** _

_Straight for General: Fair._

_**_[_ CC-1068 _has changed_ CC-1010's _name to_**_ **Repressed Gay** _ **]** _

_Repressed Gay: I am not!_

_CT-7567: We all saw you make out with General Vos_

_Gay for General: At least Bly and I can admit out feelings_

__[_ **CC-1068 _has changed_ CT-7567's _name to_** _ **Babysitter of a fourteen-year-old** _ **]** _

_Badass Lesbian: Calling people out._

__[_ **Badass Lesbian _has changed_ CC-1068's _name to Roger Roger]_** _

_Wolffe: I'm scared for Ponds sake_

_Badass Lesbian: Be scared for yours._

_**[R** **oger Roger _has changed Wolffe's_ _name to_ Adopted by Koon]**_

_Adopted by Koon: I feel like I should be hurt when this the truth_

_**_[Roger Roger has changed CC-6454's name to Dull as Window]_ ** _

__Gay for General: And this is why, lady and Gentlemen, I put the 755th Medical Corps' General, Commander, and Arc trooper in here._ _

__Gay for General: They are a riot._ _

__Roger Roger: Yes we are._ _

__Badass Lesbian: Except when I have to pretend to be Padmé. Then someone else deals with them_ _

__Confused idiot: Yea. General Che isn't fun._ _

__Badass Lesbian: She is once you get to know her._ _

_-_

_Badass Lesbian: Let's guess how many times had Anakin thought I was his wife that he's not supposed to have?_

_Badass Lesbian: We're at three times._

_Straight for General: That's not too bad_

_Badass Lesbian: Today_

_adopted by Koon: Oof_

_Gay for General: How did this happen?_

_Badass Lesbian: So_ _Padmé had me be her today_

_Badass Lesbian: Cause she isn't feeling too well._

_Badass Lesbian: And Anakin thought I was her_

_Babysitter of a fourteen-year-old: Oh god._

_Babysitter of a fourteen-year-old: I am so sorry._ _  
_

_Dull as Window: What did he do?_

_Badass Lesbian: He tried to kiss me and I said that might not be the best idea because I feel ill._

_Gay for General: Did he buy it?_

_Badass Lesbian: Yes._

_Straight for General: I am so sorry for you._

_Badass Lesbian: y'all I'm traumatized._

**_[_ Roger Roger _changed Badass Lesbian's name to_ Traumatized by Heteros]**

_Confused idiot: That describes our General so well._

_Adopted by Koon: What straight guy traumatized your general?_

_Roger Roger: Can I tell the story?_

_Traumatized by Heteros: Sure_

_Roger Roger: So She was undercover, and this Senator dude kept trying to kiss her_

_Roger Roger: And she kept saying no_

_Roger Roger: And she ended up stabbing him with a knife._

_Babysitter of a fourteen-year-old: You didn't scare me before_

_Babysitter of a fourteen-year-old: But now you do._

_Traumatized by Heteros: thanks._

_Traumatized by Heteros: it's building my ego_

_Confused idiot: isn't that against the Jedi Code?_

_Traumatized by Heteros: Kinda._

_Traumatized by Heteros: But like half of us have said fuck it._

_Traumatized by Heteros: So make your moves_

_Traumatized by Heteros: Looking at you Fox and Cody_

_Gay for General: askfjdnd._

_Babysitter of a fourteen-year-old: I'm glad that Kix hasn't met you guys._

_Babysitter of a fourteen-year-old: He'd become even worse._

_Dull as Window: Reda really said I'm coming for Fox and Cody._

_Traumatized by Heteros: No this is._

_[_ **Traumatized by Heteros _had added JEDI GENERAL QUINLAN VOS]_**

_Confused idiot: This is great._

_Roger Roger: I love our General. She's the best_

**_[_ ** **Traumatized by Heteros changed _JEDI GENERAL QUINLAN VOS's to name_ Fox's boyfriend _]_**

_Roger Roger: Changing names to call people out is my thing_

_Traumatized by Heteros: Do you want KP?_

_Roger Roger: No._

_Fox's boyfriend: Why am I here?_

_Fox's boyfriend: Also who is who?_

_Traumatized by Heteros: I'm Reda, **Gay for General** is Cody, **Straight for General** is Bly. **Dull as Window** is Ponds_

_Fox's boyfriend: I should put you in the General group chat._

_Fox's boyfriend: You would find it hilarious._

_Traumatized by Heteros: I'm sure. Now, **Adopted by Koon** is Wolffe, **Babysitter of a fourteen-year-old** is Rex, **Roger Roger** is my Commander, and **Confused idiot** is Will, my ARC. _

_Fox's boyfriend: Do I want to know the meaning behind names?_

_Dull as Window: No._

_Fox's boyfriend: How'd I get my name?_

_Fox's boyfriend: Where is Foxy?_

_adopted by Koon: Hiding._

_Confused idiot: I'm pretty sure he's considering jumping._

_Repressed gay: No I am not_

_Fox's boyfriend: And I am assuming that's Fox_

_Fox's boyfriend: So how did we get to my name?_

_Repressed gay: I don't even know._

_repressed gay: I've been working with the Senators all-day_

_Traumatized by Heteros: Idk how you can do it_

_Repressed gay: I don't know either_

_Fox's boyfriend: I help him._

_Babysitter of a fourteen-year-old: THEY ASMJTTED UT!!_

_Gay for General: ahdidnfnsisjeuwnc_

_Straight for General: HE SAID THE THING!_

_Dull as Window: Is anyone screenshotting this?_

_Adopted by Koon: I am._

_Roger Roger: I am cackling._

_Confused idiot: The General is dying of laughing in her office._

_Traumatized by Heteros: Roasting Jedi masters isn't against the Jedi Code_

_Roger Roger: Yeah but..._

_Traumatized by Heteros: We do not talk about my ex's. Especially that one._

_Confused idiot: Oh... That one._

_Traumatized by Heteros: Yes that one!_

_Roger Roger: I liked her._

_Traumatized by Heteros: So did i._

_Fox's boyfriend: Who are you talking about?_

_Fox's boyfriend: Also am I allowed to know?_

_Traumatized by Heteros: Quinlan._

_Traumatized by Heteros: Your name is Fox's boyfriend._

_Fox's boyfriend: Right._

_Dull as Window: for those of us who don't know_

_dull as Window: whos your ex?_

_Traumatized by Heteros: You don't get to know who._

_CONfused idiot: Senator L'ryanai Swvasu of Olpwaini_

_Traumatized by Heteros: Will._

_Traumatized by Heteros: I know where you are._

_gay for General: Run._

_StrAight for General: Run_


	2. Fuck the Jedi Code

**[Kriffing Kiffar _has added_ JEDI GENERAL REDA OILINU _to_ Fuck the Jedi Code]**

_JEDI GENERAL REDA OILINU: You really added me to this chat_

_JEDI GENERAL REDA OILINU: After what I pulled in the other chat?_

_KenoBI: What did you do?_

_JEDI GENERAL REDA OILINU: I'll just put the screenshots._

**[JEDI GENERAL REDA OILINU _uploaded an image. It's a screenshot of the conversation from_ Fuck that Regulation shit)**

_Blyla: Could I have context for names?_

_JEDI GENERAL REDA OILINU: Sure._

_[_ **JEDI GENERAL REDA OILINU** _**changed her name to**_ **Token** **Lesbian]**

_Token Lesbian: So Gay for General is Cody._

_KenoBI: askfjdndfneklfbjkbf_

_Lesbian Commander: Coming out the gates vroomin_

_Lesbian Commander: Also I think Master Kenobi has taken out the red string to connect the dots._

_Lesbian Commander: He looks so confused. LOL_

_Token Lesbian: Whatta mood_

_Token Lesbian: Straight for General is Bly_

_Blyla: Accurate_

_Token Lesbian: I'm traumatized by Heteros, Quinlan is Fox's boyfriend_

_Lesbian Commander: I'm laughing_

_Lesbian Commander: Anakin's looking at me weird_

_Token Lesbian: Babysitter of a fourteen-year-old is Rex_

_Lesbian Commander: Excuse me. I'm sixteen._

_Blyla: LOL_

_Token Lesbian: Dull as Window is Ponds_

_Token Lesbian: I think it was meant to be Dull as Windu but it got spellchecked._

_KenoBI: That's funny_

_Token Lesbian: Adopted by Koon is Wolffe_

_Dad Vibes: I-_

_Token Lesbian: Repressed gay is Fox._

_Lesbian Commander: I think Anakin is wondering how I'm doing_

_Token Lesbian: Confused idiot is my ARC Will_

_KenoBI: There is a story behind both of those names_

_Token Lesbian: Yep! And Roger Roger is my Commander Roger_

_Dad Vibes: Did he mock a battle droid to get his name?_

_Token Lesbian: Yep!_

_Lesbian Commander: The 755 sounds like a wild ride._

_KenoBI: They are. They are worse than the 501_

_Dad Vibes: How?_

_KenoBI: They're all medics. But they have the energy of the 501st_

_Blyla: Oh no._

_Blyla: How do you do it?_

_Token Lesbian: Cause I'm just as bad_

_Lesbian Commander: I like you. You seem fun_

_Token Lesbian: Wanna hang with us? The boys want to adopt someone._

_Token Lesbian: They want me to take on a Padawan even though I'm a child. They'd probably be more mature than me._

_-_

_Lesbian Commander: I don't think Anakin knows that people can like the same gender._

_KenoBI: He doesn't._

_Dad Vibes: How?_

_Token Lesbian: Padmé is bi and almost every other handmaiden is too, with a few lesbians sprinkled in._

_Token Lesbian: How the fuck does he not know?_

_Lesbian Commander: IDK. But he and I were hanging out with his "totally not wife" and somehow her ex's were brought up._

_Lesbian Commander: And one of the handmaidens mentioned Sabé._

_Lesbian Commander: And Padmé got real flustered._

_KenoBI: So they were dating!_

_Token Lesbian: Not when you knew them. They dated the..._

_Token Lesbian: Third year of Padmé's rule?_

_Token Lesbian: But they broke up to be professional._

_Lesbian Commander: Lit tit._

_Lesbian Commander: But Yeah Anakin doesn't know that people can be gay._

_Lesbian Comander: He still thinks I liked that Lux guy_

_Kriffing Kriffar: It makes some sense cause Tatooine gives off Redneck vibes_

_Blyla: plus The whole no attachments thing_

_Kriffing Kriffar: True_

_KenoBI: He does seem convinced I still have feelings for Satine_

_KenoBI: But Codys right there._

_Lesbian Commander: So you do admit that you and Cody are a thing._

_KenoBI: We are not dating Ahsoka!_

_Lesbian Commander: You will be_

_-_

**[Lesbian Commander _has added_ JEDI COMMANDER BARRISS OFFEE _to_ Fuck the Jedi Code]**

_LEsbian Commander: Welcome to a group chat for those of us who have said Fuck the Jedi Code_

_Lesbian Commander: Everyone welcome Barriss, my new girlfriend_

_Token Lesbain: Welcome. I'm Reda btw_

_Kriffing Kriffar: Sup_

[ **Lesbian Commander _has changed JEDI COMANADER BARRISS OFFEE'S name to_ Ahsoka's new boo2]**

_Ahsoka's new boo2: Why is this my name?_

_KenoBI: Because you're Ahsoka's second girlfriend to be inducted into the GC_

_Ahsoka's new boo2: Who was first?_

_Blyla: Senator Chuchi_

_Ahsoka's new boo: I'm still here_

_Ahsoka's new boo: I just find it funny_

_Lesbian Commander: We broke up on mutual terms._

_Lesbian Commander: We weren't ready to be dating while I was fighting in a war_

_Ahsoka's new boo2: Makes sense._

_-_

_Ahsoka's new boo2: Random Question_

_Ahsoka's new boo2: But what the fuck is the 501st up to?_

_Ahsoka's new boo2: Are you on spice?_

_Lesbian Commander: Nah._

_Lesbian Commander: Usually just caf_

_Ahsoka's new boo2: They let you drink caf?_

_Ahsoka's new boo2: Gree doesn't let me!_

_Lesbian Commander: They don't unless I supply it_

_KenoBI: WHAT_

_Lesbian Commander: OB I can explain!_

_-_

_KenoBI: So Cody just asked if I want to go to 79's_

_KenoBI: Is that a date?_

_Blyla: Yes._

_Kriffing Kriffar: Totally_

_-_

_Lesbian Commander: We should totally add Anakin_

_Ahsoka's new boo2: Why?_

_Lesbian Commander: Because Master Kenobi will be returning from his date soon_

_Lesbian Commander: And he needs to know that people can be gay_

_Token Lesbian: I'm game_

_Lesbian Commander: Cool._

_**[Lesbian Commander has added** _ **JEDI GENERAL ANAKIN SKYWALKER** _**to Fuck the Jedi Code]** _

_** [Lesbian Commander has changed JEDI GENERAL ANAKIN SKYWALKER'S name to  ** _ **Heterosexual** _** ] ** _

_Heterosexual: What the fuck?_

_Blyla: Why isn't my name Heterosexual?_

_Lesbian Commander: Because you know that people can be gay_

_Heterosexual: What the fuck is going on?_

_Token Lesbian: Hello Anakin_

_Heterosexual: Where the fuck am I?_

_Lesbian Commander: The best group chat in the Order_

_Lesbian Commander: It's for people who hate the code and have said fuck it_

_Heterosexual: I'm not married to Padmé!_

_Token Lesbian: We know ;) but you are super close to your men_

_Heterosexual: Who are you guys?_

_Lesbian Commander: I feel hurt Skyguy. But rollcall!_

_Lesbian Commander: I'm you padawan_

_Heterosexual: What's a lesbian?_

_Lesbian Commander: you'll find out_

_Token Lesbian: I'm Reda_

_Krriffing Kriffar: I'm Quinlan_

_Blyla: Aayla_

_Ahsoka's new boo2: Barriss_

_Ahsoka's new boo: Riyo_

_Dad Vibes: Master Plo_

_Lesbian Commander: And **KenoBI** Is Master Obi-Wan_

_Heterosexual: Why is senator Chuchi here? Why are the B and I capitalized in KenoBI? And What's a lesbian?_

_Lesbian Commander: Senator Chuchi and I dated for a hot second. Master Kenobi likes guys and girls, and that's called being bi. And lesbians only like girls._

_Heterosexual: Wait... Guys can like guys?_

_Heterosexual: Wild_

_Lesbian Commander: Barriss and I are dating now._

_Heterosexual: Wild_


	3. JarJar Binks Fanclub

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because every single,still living, handmaiden is in here, here's a list of their names and ids. 
> 
> Dormé- Door  
> Duja- permanent DJ  
> Eirtaé- Jar Jar 4 chancellor  
> Ellé- Imagine being straight #can'trelate  
> Hollé- JollyHolly  
> Karté- allbimyself  
> Teckla Minnau- Minny  
> Moteé-JarJar 4 queen  
> Miré- JarJar Fan club president  
> Padmé - Totally not married  
> Rabé- JarJar 4 life  
> Reedé/Reda- Undercover Boss  
> Sabé- bimess  
> Saché- I'm women  
> Yané- I like women

_Totally not married: Reda do you know anything about Anakin asking me what 'Lesbian' means?_

_Undercover Boss: Yeah._

_Undercover Boss: Ahsoka added him to the group chat for Jedi who have said fuck the code_

_Undercover Boss: And we both use Lesbian in our names_

_Imagine being straight #can'trelate: What a mood_

_Undercover Boss: And he doesn't know women can like women_

_I'm women: Is Tatooine that red neck?_

_Undercover Boss: That's what Quinlan said!_

_Totally not married: I- I thought he knew I was into women too._

_Undercover boss: He didn't._

_Undercover boss: I joked that it was mandatory to like women to be a handmaiden._

_I like women: And he thought you were serious_

_Undercover boss: Yep_

_Permanent DJ: Oof_

_-_

_Undercover boss: Padmé can you please let Anakin know that sometimes one of the handmaidens is Senator Amidala?_

_Undercover boss: And not you_

_Totally not married: Why?_

_Undercover boss: He tried to kiss me again_

_Minny: Oh no_

_Undercover boss: Oh yes_

_JarJar 4 Chancellor: How many attempts this rotation?_

_Undercover boss: Way too many._

_JarJar 4 Queen: I'm so sorry._

_JarJar 4 life: I would rather face the trade federation again then have him try to kiss me_

_bimess: Same. And I like men_

_JarJar fan club president: You like one man_

_bimess: That is correct_

_-_

_Jollyholly: Why do you have to be friends with Orn Free Taa?_

_Totally not married: We're not friends_

_Totally not married: I think he hates me_

_Door: Reedé?_

_Door: Don't you have the force?_

_Undercover boss: Yee. All I feel around him is like respect_

_Undercover boss: Because you do some baddy b things some times_

_Totally not married: But?_

_Undercover boss: It is mixed with like resent_

_Undercover: He isn't married to a Jedi and doesn't have a practice daughter in a fourteen-year-old_

_Totally not married: hbd afbuwlb dskh niojkfra reun_

_bimess: PRactice daughter! I'm laughing_

_Totally not married: Ahsoka is not our practice daughter!_

_Totally not married: It's the_ Twilight _. I think he likes it more_

_Undercover boss: I think he does._

_-_

_Undercover boss: You know what I said about Ahsoka being your practice daughter?_

_Totally not married: Yeah?_

_Undercover boss: She totally is._

_-_

_Totally not married: Dormé you know that Clovis guy who tried to kiss me after knowing me for all of a week?_

_Door: Yeah?_

_Totally not married: He's a separatist spy and got me poisoned_

_Door: That Clovis guy is a separatist spy?_

_Door: WTF?_

_Minny: He poisoned you?!_

_Permanent DJ: When!?_

_Totally not married: He didn't_

_Totally not married: A trade federation rando did, but Clovis helped_

_Totally not married: My name was his password_

_Undercover boss: What did Anakin do?_

_Totally not married: Almost murdered him I think_

_Totally not married: Idk tho. I was passed out for most of it_

_Undercover boss: I saw him at the temple soon after and he looked like he was 5 seconds away from the dark side._

_Jollyholly: Anakin gives off weird vibes_

_I'm women: I never met him so idk_

_I'm women: I was too busy getting a girlfriend and tortured._

_bimess: 9-year-old Anakin was a riot_

_JarJAr 4 life: He loved getting up to that illegal activities_

_Undercover boss: I think he still pod races._

_Totally not married: ....._

_Imagine being straight #can'trelate: You willingly married him Pads_

_Totally not married: That I did_

_-_

_Totally not married: Reda how good is Anakin at pretending that we are just friends_

_Undercover boss: terrible_

_Totally not married: Ok because Ahsoka said we work well together_

_Door: ...  
_

_permanent DJ: ..._

_JarJar 4 chancellor: ..._

_Imgine being straight #can'trelate: ..._

_JollyHolly: ..._

_allbimyself: ..._

_Minny: ..._

_JarJar 4 Queen: ...  
_

_JarJar Fan club president: ..._

_JarJar 4 life: ..._

_bimess: ..._

_I'm women: ..._

_I like women: ..._

_Undercover boss: Do you want me to stab him?_

_Totally not married: Could you be a better cover for us?_

_Undercover Boss: Yeah. Cause now he has his Captain (who can't lie) and a sixteen-year-old covering for you too._

_Undercover Boss: Obi-Wan also might be helping out but idek_

_-_

_JarJar 4 Queen: I might stab Sheevy P_

_Undercover boss: Honestly same_

_I'm women: Why?_

_JarJar 4 Queen: He gives off creepy vibes_

_JarJar 4 Chancellor: According to Quarsh he was really involved with Padmé becoming queen_

_JarJar 4 life: Yeah. He was really involved in a fourteen-year-old' s life_

_Totally not married: I always thought that was weird_

_Undercover boss: He and I are from the same part of Naboo_

_Undercover boss: And I have a feeling that he hates me for no reason. IDK y tho_

_JarJar 4 life: Wanna kill him?_

_bimess: He is being kinda treasonous_

_Totally not married: What is going on?_

_I like women: I can make it look like it wasn't us._

_Undercover boss: I can vibe with this_

_Undercover boss: I could probably get some Jedi to help_

_Perminate DJ: Mas Amedda gives me the creeps_

_Jollyholly: let's get him too_

_Totally not married: GUYS DONT KILL THE CHANCELLOR!_

_Totally not married: OR MAS AMEDDA_

_Totally not married: NO MATTER HOW CREEPY AND WEIRD THEY ARE_

_-_

_Totally not married: I can not believe you guys killed the chancellor_

_Totally not married: And Mas Amedda_

_Totally not married: And got the Jedi to change the code so I could be legally married_

_Totally not married: And managed to get Bail elected chancellor_

_Totally not married: And got every single clone full rights as citizens of the Republic_

_Undercover boss: I can't believe that Sheev's the sith lord they Jedi had been looking for since Maul and has been trying to get Anakin to turn to the dark side ever since they met_

_Undercover boss: And that the Jedi managed to kill Dooku too._

_bimess: Do you think that's why he hated you_

_allbimyself: Because you got to be a Jedi and he didn't?_

_Undercover boss: Probably._

_Terminate DJ: This is a wild time to be a citizen of the Republic_


	4. Fuck the Jedi Code

_KenoBI: Reda did you just kill the chancalor?_

_KenoBI: On terms of pedophilia and treason?_

_KenoBI: And Dooku for like no reason?_

_KenoBI: And Mas Amedda?_

_Token Lesbian: Yep_

_Kriffing Kriffar: What the actual fuck?_

_Token Lesbian: Well, we handmaidens have a chat to gossip about random shit_

_Token Lesbian: And we started talking about how Sheev gave off a rancid vibe_

_Token Lesbian: And we came to the logical decision to kill him._

_Token Lesbian: And Mas._

_Token Lesbian: And Dooku?_

_Lesbian Commander: I like you even more now_

_Heterosexual: And you also got the council to allow marriages_

_Token Lesbian: Yeah, well Padmé deserves to be happy_

_Heterosexual: Yes we do!_

_Blyla: What do you even do when you're a handmaiden_

_Token Lesbian: Gossip, mostly because Padmé's husband did a terrible job at keeping the relationship a secret, and sometimes we stalk people._

_Token Lesbian: And sometimes we have to pretend to be her_

_Token Lesbian: And I hate it when I do_

_Ahsoka's new boo2: That fees illegal_

_Ahsoka's new boo: It's not. Just very creepy_

_[ **Kriffing Kriffar has changed Token Lesbian's name to Lesbian Savior** ]_

_Lesbian Savior: It's an honor_

_-_

_Blyla: I know that the order is allowing relationships_

_Blyla: But is anyone else leaving_

_Lesbian Savior: I am. I'm going to become one of the Senator's full-time handmaidens_

_Lesbian Savior: So you're never losing me Anakin_

_Heterosexual: I_

_Heterosexual: I don't know what you mean_

_Lesbian Savior: I'm gonna be around Padmé full time._

_Heterosexual: OHHHHH_

_-_

_[ **Lesbian Commander has removed Ahsoka's new boo2 From Fuck the Jedi Code]**_

_Lesbian Commander: Random question: But does anyone know what to do if your girlfriend turns to the dark side?_

_Dad Vibes: I'm sorry little 'Soka._

_Lesbian Commander: Nah it's fine._

_Lesbian Commander: But she told me, drunk tho, that she planned to bomb the Jedi temple if the war continued_

_Lesbian Commander: And she was going to blame me to get me to side with her_

_Dad Vibes: That's not right_

_Heterosexual: U ok snips?_

_Lesbian Commander: Fine_

_-_

_Lesbian Savior: Hey Anakin. I know that you're allowed to have your marriage be public but can you not kiss Senator Amidala?_

_Heterosexual: Why_

_Lesbian Savior: Cause sometimes I'm the Senator_

_Lesbian Savior: You've almost kissed me 20 times since your relationship became legal_

_Lesbian Commander: How did you even start being a handmaiden?_

_Lesbian Savior: I first met them @ Qui-Gon's funeral because I'm from Naboo and my entire family died so they let me go to their funerals plus Qui-Gon's, and Quarsh wanted me to become one because I'm only a year older than Padmé and we look very similar_

_Lesbian Savior: But I didn't. I became a handmaiden right after the first battle of Geonosis because the council wanted someone inconspicuous to investigate the Senate._

_Lesbian Savior: Then from time to time, Padmé would request for me if she was going into a hot spot for negotiations. All the while I was being a General._

_Kriffing Kriffar: Wow._

_KenoBI: That sounds fun_

_Lesbian Savior: It was_

_Lesbian Savior: You don't know the gossip we have._

_Lesbian Savior: Especially on Anakin._

_Heterosexual: Why me?_

_Lesbian Commander: Skyguy you were always with Padmé during the war_

_Lesbian Commander: Everyone knew_

_Heterosexual: Everyone?_

_Dad Vibes: Everyone_

_Ahsoka's new boo: Even The Senators knew._

_-_

_Dad Vibes: It's official_

_Dad Vibes: I have adopted the Wolfpack_

_Lesbian Commander: Cool!_

_Lesbian Commander: Anakin and Padmé have adopted me_

_KenoBI: Why am I not surprised?_

_-_

_Blyla: **@KenoBI** are you dating Cody?_

_Heterosexual: WAIT WHAT?!_

_Heterosexual: YOU LIKE YOUR COMMANDER?!_

_Lesbian Commander: *face slap*_

_Dad Vibes: *face slap*_

_KenoBI: *face slap*_

_Blyla: *face slap*_

_Kriffing Kriffar: *face slap*_

_Ahsoka's new boo: *face slap*_

_Lesbian Savior: *face slap*_

_Lesbian Savoir: You know it's bad when Riyo talks_

_Heterosexual: I did forget Riyo is in here_

_Heterosexual: When did you even date Ahsoka?_

_Ahsoka's New boo: We began to date right after Orto Plutonia when the chairman died_

_Ahsoka's new boo: And we broke up right before the Second Battle of Geonosis_

_Heterosexual: I'm just hurt Ahsoka never told me_

_Lesbian Commander: Deal with it_

_Lesbian Commander: You didn't invite me to your wedding_

_Lesbian Commander: Or Obi-Wan_

_Heterosexual: That's because I didn't know you yet and I thought I could keep my relationship a secret_

_KenOBI: Well, you didn't_

_KenoBI: Miserably_

_-_

_Kriffing Kriffar: **@Blyla** hear me out_

_Kriffing Kriffar: We force Obi-Wan and Cody to date_

_Blyla: I like it_

_Blyla: We go on a triple date_

_Kriiffing Kriffar: YES!_

_KenoBI: I'm right here guys_

_Kriffing Kriffar: We know_

_Blyla: We know_

_-_

_Lesbian Savior: I got a new girlfriend_

_Lesbian Commander: Lucky_

_Lesbian Commander: Who is she_

_Lesbian Savior: The new Senator for Alderaan, Lyrua Antilles_

_Lesbian Commander: Lit tit_

_KenoBI: Is she the daughter of Bail Antilles?_

_Lesbian Savior: Yeet_

_-_

_Kriffing Kriffar: This is the happiest I've ever seen Fox and we've been dating for a while_

_Blyla: Cause Palp is dead?_

_Kriffing Kriffae: Cause Palp's dead_

_-_

_Lesbian Commander: Sometimes I just want my grandmaster to go on a date with his Marshal Commander, CC-2224, Cody_

_KenoBI: Did you memorize his number just for that?_

_KenoBI: Also no. He doesn't like me_

_Dad Vibes: Kenobi, I might slap you_

_-_

_Lesbian Savior: My girlfriend is amazing_

_Lesbian Savior: She just offered to put all of the clones on Alderaan_

_KenoBI: All of them?_

_Lesbian Savior: Master Kenobi, if you don't want Cody to move, make yo move_

_KenoBI: NOT YOU TOO!_

_-_

_Blyla: Has Obi-Wan finally confessed that he likes Cody?_

_KenoBI: Come on guys!_

_Kriffing Kriffar: I was in the Commander chat and I would just like to remind everyone that Cody's name IS Gay for General._

_Lesbian Savior: I can confirm._

_Lesbian Savior: I did drop the screenshots from that chat_

_KenoBI: I know_

_-_

_Lesbian Commander: Yo Reda?_

_Lesbian Commander: How'd you meet your girlfriend_

_Lesbian Savior: I was being my handmaiden self_

_Lesbian Savior: Want me to set u up w/ someone?_

_Lesbian Commander: Yeet_

-

_Heterosexual: I know most of the people in here_

_Heterosexual: But is anyone in here just to read and doesn't say anything_

_Heterosexual: Like Riyo?_

_Winduwashing: Me_


	5. Fuck that Regulation Shit

_[_ **Traumatized by Heteros _has changed Babysitter of a fourteen-year-old' s name to_ Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old]**

_Tramatiatized by Heteros: Ahsoka's 16 now_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: Ah, thank you_

_-_

_Gay for General: Random question: How does one ask one's general on a date?_

_Straight for General: Well, considering they got rid of the Code, just tell Kenobi how you feel_

_Repressed Gay: I mean, I made out with Quinlan while drunk and our relationship grew from there_

_-_

_Dull as Window: Mace asked me how many from our batch is dating a Jedi_

_Dull as Window: Cause you know, Cody and Obi-Wan, Bly and Aayla, Vos and Fox_

_Adopted by Koon: Mace?????_

_Adopted by Koon: He lets you call him Mace?_

_Dull as Window: And I said all of us except Wolffe._

_Confused idiot: PONDS YOU'RE GAY!?!!!?!?_

_Confused idiot: WHAT??_

_Confused idiot: HOW DID REDA KNOW?!_

_Repressed gay: THIS IS HOW YOU TELL US PONDS!_

_Roger Roger: DAMNIT PONDS! YOU COST ME 5O CREDITS!_

_Traumatized by Heteros: FUCKING CALLED IT!_

_Traumatized by Heteros: WINDU WOULDN'T BE IN THE ANTI-CODE GROUP CHAT IF HE DIDN'T BREAK THE CODE!_

_Traumatized by Heteros: ROGER PAY THE FUCK UP! YOU TOO WILL!_

_Gay for General: YOU'RE DATING GENERAL WINDU?_

_Straight for General: OUT OF ALL OF US??? ITS PONDS????_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: WHAT THE FUCK PONDS???_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: I EXPECTED THIS FROM CODY BUT YOU PONDS?_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: COME ON!_

_-_

_Gay for General: I did it bois, plus General Oilinu_

_Gay for General: Obi-Wan is my boyfriend!_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: It took two years, who had that on the table?_

_Adopted by Koon: Ponds. The little shit!_

_[_ **Adopted by Koon _has changed Dull as Window 's name to_ A little piece of fucking shit]**

_Adopted by Koon: First, he drops the bomb that he's dating Windu_

_Adopted by Koon: Then, he wins all of the credits we put down on Codywan_

_Adopted by Koon: He is now my least favorite brother_

_-_

_Traumatized by Heteros: How many of you hoes are moving to Alderaan_

_Traumatized by Heteros: My girlfriend would like to know whos going_

_Confused idiot: Roger and I are_

_Confused idiot: And I think the rest are gonna go with their General_

_-_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: General Skywalker asked if he could adopt me_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: He and Senator Amidala have already adopted Ahsoka_

_Adopted by Koon: JOIN ME!_ _JOIN ME!_ _JOIN ME!_ _JOIN ME!_ _JOIN ME!_ _JOIN ME!_

_Adopted by Koon: Join us who've been adopted_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: OK! Calm down!  
_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: It's going to be weird when I become older than him  
_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: We're already the same age_

_Traumatized by Heteros: Nah. The Kaminioans have agreed to take out the accelerated growth, so get hyped to age normally_

_Gay for General: When did they say that?_

_Traumatized by Heteros: In the Senate today_

_Traumatized by Heteros: They're gonna start with the shinys, and if that works, their going to try it on the Commanders then work their way down the ranks_

_-_

_Traumatized by Heteros: You know how I left the Jedi after I killed Sheev_

_Repressed Gay: Thanks for that_

_Traumatized by Heteros: I'm a full-time handmaiden now, and Anakin still thinks I'm Padmé_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: I saw_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: That's a big L tho_

_Traumatized by Heteros: I know. I was trying to get your attention_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: I saw_

_Traumatized by Heteros: You little shit._

_Traumatized by Heteros: You're worse than Ponds_

_A little piece of fucking shit: Should I be offended?_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: Take that back_

_A little piece of fucking shit_ _: I'm offended_

_-_

_Straight for General: How did Will get his name_

_Traumatized by Heteros: svbjdibfjgs_

_Roger Roger: I forgot that not all of you guys have met him_

_Confused idiot: I was trying to be funny!_

_Confused Idiot: I was a shiny!_

_Roger Roger: So what happened is that General Oilinu said "fire at will"_

_Traumatized by Heteros: And Will said Don't shoot me!_

_Roger Roger: Even though no one called him Will until after that_

_Repressed Gay: That's the funniest name story I've ever heard_

_Traumatized by Heteros: I mean Roger was held prisoner and he mocked a B1 droid, and I stared called him Roger, mostly because I was tired of using his number_

_Roger Roger: I also do a pretty good impersonation_

_Traumatized by Heteros: It's terrible_

_Traumatized by Heteros: It's worse than my impersonation of a straight person_

_Straight for General: I cam out to have a good time, but now I'm feeling pretty attacked_

_Gay for General: Go cry to Aayla about it_

_-_

_Adopted by Koon: Fox is it true that you drunkenly got married to Quinlan?_

_Traumatized by Heteros: I'm mad we removed him from the chat_

_Gay for General: It's true_

_Gay for General: I saw the ring._

_Gay for General: He drinking at 79's with me and I saw it on_

_Babysitter of a sixteen-year-old: I'm just hurt Fox didn't tell us_

_Gay for General: I think he's too drunk to talk_

_Gay for General: He's not fighting my touches_

_A little piece of fucking shit_ _: I think he hasn't done that since Cadets_

_Straight for General: Well, Aayla and I are considering getting married!_

_Adopted by Koon: We know_ vod _we know._

_-_

_Repressed Gay: General Oilinu, why did you have to kill Sheev?_

_Repressed Gay: I wanted to_

_Traumatized by Heteros: He wasn't vibing with the other handmaidens, so we all decided to kill him_

_Traumatized by Heteros: Also I'm not a Jedi anymore, so call me either Reda or Reedé_

_Gay for General: What a mood_

_Roger Roger: Some times I'm scared of you_

_Traumatized by Heteros: Nah. Don't be_

_Traumatized by Heteros: You're one of the few people I can stand_

_Roger Roger: I'll take that_

_Confused idiot: What about me_

_Traumatized by Heteros: Depends on the day_

_Confused idiot: That's good!_


	6. Fuck the Jedi Code

_Lesbian Savior: Obi you're dating Cody now???!!!_

_KenoBI: Yes??_

_KenoBI: How do you know???_

_Lesbian Savior: I'm in the Commander group chat_

_Kriffing Kriffar: Youre still in it?_

_Lesbian Savior: yea_

_Kriffing Kriffar: They kicked me out!_

_Lesbian Commander: How can I get in?_

_Lesbian Savior: idk_

_Lesbian Commander: I'm going to bully Rex until I get in._

_-_

_Kriffing Kriffar: Guess who's a married man!_

_Lesbian Commander: Anakin_

_Heterosexual: Hey!_

_Lesbian Commander: It's true_

_Blyla: You?_

_Kriffing Kriffar: Yep!_

_Kriffing Kriffar: (: (:_

_Dad Vibes : When did you get married?_

_Kriffing Kriffar: A few rotations ago_

_Lesbian Savior: You did while drunk tho :/_

_Kriffing Kriffar: W- HOW DID YOU KNOW?_

_Lesbian Savior: Because Cody told us_

_Kriffing Kriffar: That littke...._

_Lesbian Savior: After Wolffe started it_

_Dad Vibes: I am so proud of my son_

_-_

_KenoBI: Quinlan??? Have you?? Threatened Cody's???? Life??_

_KenoBI: Because he revealed??? That you?? And Fox?? got married??_

_KenoBI: Why????_

_Kriffing Kriffar: Because he revealed that Fox and me got married_

_KenoBI: You mean Fox and I_

_Kriffing Kriffar: Why do you always have to correct my grammar_

_KenoBI: to spite you_

_Heterosexual: He used to do that when I was a Padawan._

_KenoBI: I don't know how you got a wife with poor grammar_

_Heterosexual: Excuse me._

_Heterosexual: Padmé thinks its cute_

_Lesbian Commander: I don't know why_

_-_

_Lesbian Commander: Is it bully Anakin hours?_

_Heterosexual: WHAT???_

_Heterosexual: AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU SNIPS?_

_Heterosexual: I am your father!_

_Lesbian Commander: You've done shit._

_Lesbian Commander: And soon you won't just be my dad_

_KenoBI: Language!! dad_

_KenoBI: Also what?_

_Kriffing Kriffar: ...._

_KenoBI: I don't know why I even try._

_KenoBI: But please Ahsoka, continue_

_Lesbian Commander: So Anakin and I were chilling with the bois_

_Dad Vibes: Why must you call them that?_

_Lesbian Commander: You've adopted the wolf pack. don't talk_

_Lesbian Commander: When he dropped the fact that Padmé is pregnant_

_Lesbian Savior: WHAT_

_Lesbian Savior: SHE DIDN'T TELL ME!!!_

_Lesbian Savior: I GOTTA TELL MY GIRLS_

_Blyla: D - Did Padmé let you know that you could tell people_

_Lesbian Commander: Yeet_

**[Lesbian Commander _has changed Heterosexual 's name to_ Bad Dad]**

_Bad Dad: But I am legally your dad_

**[Bad Dad _has changed Lesbian Commander 's name to_ Rebellious Lesbian Teen] **

_Rebellious Lesbian Teen: Good you know my vibe_

_-_

_Lesbian Savior: Wait..._

_Lesbian Savior: I'm going to pretend to be Senator Amidala hell of a lot more now_

_KenoBI: Likely_

_Lesbian Savior: @ **Bad dad** you better not try to kiss me._

_Bad dad: What do you mean?_

_Lesbian Savior: has Padmé tried to get out of a kiss before?_

_Bad dad: Yeah?_

_Lesbian Savior: Then it was probably me_

_Lesbian Savior: And now that you know that I might stab you with a knife_

_rebellious lesbian teen: You carry knives?_

_Lesbian Savior: I carry two_

_rebellious lesbian teen: Can I carry knives?_

_Bad dad: nah_

_KenoBI: No!_

_Dad Vibes: NO!_

_rebellious lesbian teen: Come on._

_Lesbian Savior: I mean my master let me carry two knives, a pistol and my two sabers when I was fourteen_

_Blyla: WHY DID MASTER LUNE LET YOU HAVE SO MANY WEAPONS_

_Lesbian Savior: I built them_

_Lesbian Savior: She tried to stop it but eventually gave in_

_KenoBI: I'm just why are you so..._

_Lesbian Savior: Into weapons_

_Lesbian Savior: I honestly didn't know_

_-_

**[Anonymous _has changed Lesbian Savior 's name to_ Scary Knife Lesbian]**

_Scary Knife Lesbian: Ok who changed my name?_

_Blyla: I didn't, but you have to admit that it's funny_

_-_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: I might stab Orn Free Taa_

_Blyla: Why?_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: He approached me and tried telling me that "I" didn't need so many handmaidens_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: When he's walking around with two women, who no one else knows anything about_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: So I may or may not have slipped the hilt of my knife out of the skirt_

_KenoBI: Some times you scare me_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: Thank you. I try_

_-_

_Bad dad: Reda is it true the handmaiden group chat is called JarJar Binks_ _fan club?_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: You know it!_

_KenoBI: Why????_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: Idk. It was the name before I joined and I never asked._

_-_

_Winduwashing: Why is Ponds laughing every time he gets a message?_

_Kriffing Kriffar: So he can speak_

_Kriffing Kriffar: And Fox says it's because he won all of the credits they put down on Cody and Obi-Wan_

_KenoBI: Why does everyone make bets including me and never tells me?_

_Blyla: Because we all knew it was going to happen, we just didn't know when_

_-_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: Anakin I swear if you try to kiss me you won't be able to meet your children_

_Bad dad: I'm sorry!_

_Rebellious Lesbian Teen: Dad did you try to kiss her_

_Rebellious Lesbian Teen: When mom is visibly pregnant?_

_Bad dad: Did-_

_Bad dad: Did you just call me dad?_

_Rebellious Lesbian Teen: I-_

_Rebellious Lesbian Teen: IT GOT SPELLCHECKED_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: I'm calling bullshit_

_Dad Vibes: It's ok little Soka_

_Dad Vibes: Wolffe first called me dad by accident_

_Ahsoka's new boo: You also called Senator Amidala mom_

_Rebellious Lesbian Teen: I came out of the closet to have a good time but now I'm feeling really attacked_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: I just can't believe that you called Padmé mom_

_Rebellious Lesbian Teen: well, she is. Legally_

_Blyla: This chat is a fucking nightmare_

_[_ **Bad dad _has changed Rebellious Lesbian Teen 's name to_ Anakin's favorite child] **

_Anakin's favorite child: Even more so than the_ Twilight _?_

_[ **Bad dad has changed Rebellious Lesbian Teen 's name to Anakin's second favorite child]**_

_Blyla: I've said it before and I'll say it again_

_Blyla: this chat is a motherfucking nightmare_

_-_

_Kriffing Kriffar: Ok what the hell goes on in the Commander group chat?_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: You mean Fuck that Regulation Shit?_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: Bullying_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: Mostly of Bly and Fox_

_Blyla: Why?_

_Scary Knife Lesbian: Because Bly's straight. and Fox is Fox_

_Kriffing Kriffar: I understand_


	7. Jar Jar Binks fan club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dané - Énad  
> Dormé- Door  
> Duja- permanent DJ  
> Eirtaé- Jar Jar 4 chancellor  
> Ellé- Imagine being straight #can'trelate / Big time Oof  
> Fé - Why???  
> Hollé- JollyHolly  
> Karté- allbimyself  
> Teckla Minnau- Minny  
> Moteé-JarJar 4 queen  
> Miré- JarJar Fan club president  
> Padmé - Totally not married  
> Rabé- JarJar 4 life  
> Reedé/Reda- Undercover Boss  
> Sabé- bimess  
> Saché- I'm women  
> Yané- I like women

_[_ **Minny _has added_ Fé _and_ Dané _to_ Jar Jar Binks fan club]**

_Minny: I found them_

_Jollyholly: Yay!_

_Jar Jar 4 life: Awesome!_

_Totally not married: welcome to the chat! You're welcome to change your IDs._

**[Fé _has changed her name to_ Why???]**

**[Dané _has changed her name to_ Énad]**

_Why???: Why?_

_Énad: I felt like it_

_-_

_Undercover boss: Padmé I swear if your husband tries to kiss me one more time I might stab him_

_Totally not married:_ _What did Anakin do this time?_

_Undercover boss: He tried to kiss me_

_Imagine being straight #can'trelate: that's a big time oof._

_**[Imagine being straight #can'trelate has changed her name to** _ **Big time oof]**

_I like women: What a mood_

_-_

_bimess: Padmé have you thought of names for the babies?_

_Totally not married: Yeah_

_Totally not married: Luke if it's a boy_

_Totally not married: Leia if it's girl_

_I'm women: Those are cute!_

_-_

_Undercover boss: Caleb does give off dad vibes_

_Jar Jar 4 chancellor: Who?_

_Undercover boss: AH SHIT SHIT FUCK FUCK WRONG CHAT_

_allbimyself: ????_

_Permanent DJ: Who's Caleb?_

_Undercover boss: Master Billba's new padawan._

_Door: Isn't she the one who came with Padmé to check out the Aquaduct of that random planet?_

_Totally not married: Yeah_

_Jar Jar Fan club President: How??? Old is he?_

_Undercover boss: Thirteen I think?_

_Undercover boss: Maybe fourteen_

_Undercover boss: I really don't know_

_Jar Jar 4 Queen: How does he give off dad vibes?_

_Undercover boss: we found an orphan boy on Lothal and I think Caleb adopted him_

_I like women: Is he force sensitive?_

_Undercover boss: Yea. He's also like. A few days old._

_I'm women: Wtf?_

_why????: Is this normal for you?_

_Undercover boss: No. I haven't had to deal with this shit._

_big time oof: I thought you left the order?_

_Undercover boss: I have_

_Undercover boss: But they still want me to do stuff._

_-_

_Undercover boss: Ok so the kid 's name is Ezra and Caleb has asked if he could train him_

_Undercover boss: Once he's knighted and shit_

_Undercover boss: I think the council has agreed._

_Énad: Why?_

_Undercover boss: Caleb could have ended the war single handedly via his loth cat eyes_

_Undercover boss: And Mace loves his grandpadawan_

_Permanent DJ: Aww_

_-_

_Undercover boss: Caleb Dume update:_

_Undercover boss: We think he has a crush on Cham Syndulla's daughter_

_Minny: How do you know this?_

_Undercover boss: Depa gives me weekly updates on him_

_Allbimyself: How did that occur?_

_Undercover boss: Apparently they got sent to Ryloth, and while Depa and Cham were negotiating_

_Undercover boss: Caleb and Hera were just told to "chill" I believe_

_Totally not married: I mean_

_Totally not married: Anakin and I met because he was a slave and we needed parts to get to the Senate_

_Jar Jar 4 life: He also was NINE and called you an angel_

_I'm women: I mean I flirted by refusing to be anywhere near my now wife_

_Jar Jar 4 chancellor: Yea you were also 12_

_I like women: True._

_Why???: You also got together because of those Neimoidians torturing Saché_

_I'm women: Also true_

_-_

_Bimyself: Pads I really don't know how you don't think Anakin is an idiot?_

_Totally not married: I love Anakin but sometimes he can be a little idiotic_

_Undercover boss: GUYS I AM NOT SHITTING YOU BUT MAUL IS STILL FUCKING ALIVE_

_Undercover boss: Oh fuck wrong chat_

_Undercover boss: Not again_

_Jar Jar 4 Queen: Wait backup_

_Énad: The Zabak that killed Qui-Gon?_

_Undercover boss: Yea_

_Jar Jar 4 fan club President: How??_

_Undercover boss: His chronic hate boner for Obi-Wan._

_Jar Jar 4 chancellor: I just choked on my water_

_Undercover boss: I'm not shitting you._

_Undercover boss: He is the exact opposite of Cody_

_Totally not married:_ I _just choked on my water._

_-_

_Jar Jar 4 chancellor: I totally get why Bail's the new chancellor but why couldn't it be Jar Jar_

_Jar Jar Fan club President: I agree_

_Jar Jar Fan club President: We need more non-humans in leadership positions_

_Jar Jar 4 Queen: We should definitely add him_

_Totally not married: I do not agree with that_

_Totally not married: We need to keep our gossip to ourselves_

_Jar Jar 4 life: Very true_

_-_

_Permanent DJ: Was Grievous killed???_

_Undercover boss: AH shit I can't remember._

_-_

_Undercover boss: Don't worry he has been._

_Why???: ????_

_Undercover boss: Obi-Wan got him_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this tool so long.


End file.
